HOMEMADE APPLE PIE
1 gallon apple juice, 1 gallon apple cider, 2 1/2 cups sugar, 4-5 cinnamon sticks, 1 fifth Everclear.
This concoction, like prison hooch*, is surprisingly easy to make. I was able to find all the non-alcoholic ingredients at my local grocery store and Everclear can be found at any self-respecting liquor retailer. Approximate cost: $35.00. Serves: 3 Alcoholics to 10-15 Lightweights.
1. Mix ingredients (except Everclear) in a large pot
I knew that we didn’t have a pot large enough to hold all the liquid, but I knew we had several smaller pots and plenty of burners. So, if you must, improvise as I’ve done here.
2. Bring mixture to a boil
While the mixture is coming to a boil make sure you give each pot a good stir from time to time. The agitation will slow the boiling process, but it will help the sugar to dissolve and keep it from burning.
3. Let simmer 30 minutes
This part is very boring. I’d suggest some Netflix to pass the time. Don’t forget the occasionally stirring.
4. Shank a snitch
5. Let mixture cool then add Everclear
If you’re going to store your Homemade Apple Pie in different containers, make sure you distribute your liquor evenly. If you want your mixtures to have different bite, then make sure you label each accordingly.
6. Fill and mark container(s)
If you have one, I’d suggest using a funnel. Doesn’t hurt to do this over the sink either. I wanted to make some virgin Homemade Apple Pie for my children. My virgin and alcoholic mixtures are stored in similar containers, so I’ve marked them accordingly (lids and labels). X = liquor.
Homemade Apple Pie can be enjoyed at any temperature, but for the full experience warm before drinking. This drink goes down smooth and it’s difficult to notice it’s an alcoholic drink. So, when imbibing, do so with caution.